Did You Hear The Latest Irish Joke?

How do you beat England at the World Cup? You let them bowl ...

Ashes holders, Twenty20 World Champions ... now laughing stock! After three games, England have emerged as having batsmen in form and pie chuckers among the bowling staff. Last night, in a major embarrassment for the Three Lions, the same Irish batting line up which crashed and burned against Bangladesh, treated the English bowlers like Year 7 school boys, still wet behind the ears and with no answers when questions were asked.

Chief among the inquisitors was Kevin O'Brien, brother of wicket keeper Niall but not standing in any corners with Kerry, although normally sporting the same carrot top. Not last night, where he had accessorised with a purple and blond hairstyle, making him look like the love-child of Funky Miller and Shane Warne.

He came to the crease at 4-106 in the 23rd over, a score which became 5-111 two overs later. With Ireland more than 200 behind and half the overs gone, O'Brien blasted thirteen 4's and six 6's and in the process scored the fastest World Cup century (50 balls). That's some performance when you consider the batsmen who have played in this forum since 1975. His willing accomplices, Alex Cusack and John Mooney were no slackers either. The O'Brien/Cusack partnership added 162 off 103 balls and won the game for Ireland. Anderson, Broad, Bresnan and Yardy all went at more than a run a ball, with Broad returning to the side and conceding more than eight an over. Swann was again the best of the Englishmen but even he didn't escape the O'Brien glassing, the big allrounder smashing 21, including two 4's and two 6's, off only 11 deliveries from the world's best off spinner. When Mooney hit the winning 4, Ireland had three wickets and most of the last over still spare.

Earlier, England had appeared to have done everything right. Strauss and Pietersen opened with 91 in fourteen overs, before Trott and Bell both should probably have made well crafted hundreds but were stopped short by Mooney, who took four English wickets. There was a late clatter of wickets in the last ten overs but that's par for the course in ODI's these days. 8-327 was a suitable flexing of the English muscle and followed scores of 4-296 and 8-338, both chasing. Batting isn't England's problem. If we put Swann to one side, the rest have been pretty dreadful. Even the spirited Yorkshireman Bresnan was non-plussed by the Irish attack and was soon reduced to ordinary. The English bowlers weaved a spell over the Aussies in Tests this summer because they were allowed to settle into their routine and maintain lines and lengths they chose to bowl. Only Michael Hussey attempted to attack their bowlers and he was successful. Perhaps the root of our self-destruction was the loss in previous series, which left us too timid by halves. Since then, both in Australia and now at the World Cup in ODI's, the English bowling has gone to water if attacked.

Its hard to imagine the top sides not noticing that a Dutchman and an Irishman have done as they pleased whilst the English bowlers have stood like little teapots mid pitch.

England have played three, had two narrow escapes and a bad loss and they've only met one of the top eight rated sides!

In answer to the Barmy Army, she's not our Queen mate. She's welcome to you!

PS Those boffins in the ICC who wish to remove the minnows might now have strong support from England but imagine what the cricket public would have been robbed of. The fastest hundred of all time, a brilliant advertisement for the game and the belief that on any given night, cricket can still produce real fairy tales. Given the sludge that is whirling about the bottom of sub-continental cess pool, I'd rather have Irish jubilation than Pakistani cheating as the legacy for my game..