DAY 2 - Summary

Two things are apparent at Headingley but they are not revelations. For twenty years these particular truths have been constantly reaffirmed in Ashes cricket. Firstly, never underestimate an Australian side's ability to lift off the canvas and completely crush their opponent and secondly, never imagine you've seen the worst English performance ever. Allied to the latter is the truth to Ian Botham's "pink gin" claim years ago in reference to those who run the English game. At Headingley, with a series win safely in both hands and admittedly without their two best players, the English selectors picked an unbalanced team and will leave the players to pay the price. With their second innings in tatters at 5-82 and no batsmen left, the game will be over by lunch tomorrow, providing deserved time off for the players and an early night for dedicated Australian fans.

Earlier, discussion over cornflakes at the Australian digs this morning must have been the need to bat England out of the game. Certainly not losing wickets is one way but its of little point if you are not scoring runs. So goes the sermon. Brother Clarke and Brother North must have been making notes as well as listening because their delivery was perfect.

For Clarke, this was not a technically correct innings, as many times he looked uncomfortable whether it be against the short, sharp stuff from Harmison or the surprisingly rare ball well pitched up and moving away. He played and missed, he bobbed and weaved but he didn't stop playing shots. His best spell was the attack he launched against Anderson during his poor spell. The standout was an off drive from an Anderson outswinger that scorched to the boundary between mid off and the bowler. With his regular partner in crimes against England, Marcus North with his villian's mask in place, England had the final nails in their coffin driven in in the two hours before lunch. North, who consolidated in the 80 minutes before stumps and was only 3 until a four in the last over, bought up his fifty just before lunch and looks as he has all series, a player who will score many more runs for Australia. Here's hoping the doomsayers who wanted his head on their keyboard pike, are choking on their adjectives.

With Clarke wondering whether it would be the chicken mini strips or the pizza, Onions was finally introduced and soon had Clarke trapped in front - the fourth lbw of five wickets to fall - so very close to a third century of the series and history beckoning. Clarke and The Cardinal added 152 for the fifth wicket and England were deader than road kill on the Stuart Highway and with no signs of ideas which might revive them. Strauss missed some opportunities and might have done more to get Anderson moving again but the major criticism would have to be keeping Onions in the outfield and away from the bowling crease until twenty minutes before lunch. Anderson may be physically fit but his head is an altogether different place and he is a passenger in this Test.

The second session was classic Australian post modern cricket which could have been from anywhere after Mark Taylor became captain ... bowl first and roll the opposition below 200; bat for four or five sessions at 100 runs a session; humble the opposition second innings and have a day off. This was two hours from the second phase.

North was the star performer, raising his second century of the series and in comparison to the more experienced Clarke, his was the more composed and deliberate knock. Upon reaching 96, there was never going to be a repeat of the heartbreak of Edgbaston and a fullish ball from Swann left for happier times well beyond the midwicket fence. Haddin didn't stay long after lunch, misjudging a ball from Harmison as being shorter than it was and scooped an ugly up and under to Bell at backward square leg. Mitch Johnson packed five boundaries into his 27, adding 70 with North for the seventh wicket and Siddle came and went in English style, the next ball, both wickets claimed by Broad. Stuart Clark then played one of his lusty cameos, this one a 22 ball 32 which including one four and three massive sixes, two of which came and went over midwicket and square leg off successive balls from Broad. It couldn't last - it never does -and Broad had his revenge with a good straight ball at off stump.

Broad has had many questions asked of him against the old foe and many, including this correspondent, would have dropped him for this Test but he has been England's best and not just because he collected his second five wicket haul and his best Test bowling figures but because he bowled a better line and a much better length than his more experienced team mates and his has stood toe to toe to Australia most aggressive performers.

With tea pushed back with the fall of the ninth wicket, it was impressive that North didn't play for the red ink but was out swinging. 139 runs added by the Aussies and England took 5 wickets but this was still the visitors session.

England began to dream the impossible dream after tea and for an hour, Strauss and Cook looked firm and secure in putting on 58 for the first wicket but from the moment Hilfenhaus returned for a second spell and speared one into the English captain's back pad, it was a nursery rhyme we were told as children ... this little Englishmen gets lbw, this one gets lbw too. This little Englishman gets caught at slip, this gets lbw again and this little Englishman gets caught behind and goes weeeeee, all the way home. As good as Hilfenhaus and Johnson were, England went from resolute to dreadful in 45 deliveries.

Bopar lasted one ball, also lbw to Hilfenhaus. Even if it was an inside edge, his campaign is over a Test too late. Trott will take his place for the 5th. Bell prodded at Johnson and snicked to a gleeful Ponting. As much as I admire Bell, he hasn't beaten his hoodoo against Australian gurus and Warnie probably sent him a text after he got out. Collingwood, the man I still believe is England's best, at least got out to a corker of a ball from Johnson ... that late inswinger he can't bowl anymore. Vicious and late and no hope. Cook, who had batted well, got another swinger from Johnson and edged to Haddin.

England have provided Australia with the way back into this series which will be one-all after a seven session Test. The momentum once with Australia will not be headed by the English who have been run down by this steam roller before. Its just so sad their selectors and officials staked them out in its path. Apart from anything else, they'll be refunding a lot of revenue in unused tickets.

A nice day to go for a walk and find yourself an Englishman.